Sunday, January 8, 2012

Where and what do I want to be when 2013 arrives?

Oh, dear... I don't know. I have all these dreams and fantasies and plans, but that's all they are. I never DO anything to make them come true...

I hate the way I look, but I don't do much to change it. I keep saying I can change it, but as I haven't changed it, how do I know I can? I wish something could make me angry enough to actually prove that I can, and change the way I look and stop hating the way I look.

I would want to be able to make pictures like the artists I admire, and I would say I have the necessary talents... Again, I do nothing to change this fact. I'm just sitting on my --- and whining about not being good enough.

I'm sure I could write books better than many others, and good enough, but I don't write. I would love BEING a writer, but writing...? Obviously not enough, because I don't write.

I know I'm a coloratura contralto (G3-G5), and would probably get higher if I practiced, but I don't practice. And I'm angry with me for that too.

I know I can play several instruments, and... yeah... If I only practiced.

I could do anything, if I only practiced.

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