Dangers of internet stalking

"Willingness is so important. Do you think you could just try try try to be willing this week to take chances...to hear someone out....to let something be....to let things work themselves out..."


To let something be. Let him go. Not to try to find out what he's doing. Not to try to find out things about his girlfriend. Not to think about him. Not to send him text messages, emails, letters, postcards, not to call him, not to try to figure out what to do if I ever see him again... 
If we are meant to be together, we will be. God's will WILL be done. 
Not to beat the dead horse.


My whole adult life I have wanted to be beautiful. 
I have always believed if I just was beautiful, if I just was pretty enough, I'd get what I want. I have been watching girls called pretty get what I want, and me being without, me being bullied, called names... Always chosen last. Always passed by. Always waiting for my turn, and it never coming up. 
And now... it doesn't matter. Beauty is nothing. It doesn't mean anything. 
I didn't get what I wanted, because... 


I don't have the slightest idea. 


So... how will I get what I want?