Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It has not been a good week.

I got really upset about my foot. :-( No walks.

Badly photoshopped picture of me with Kelly's body.
I'm sorry, Kelly.
I got the idea that I can exercise without using my foot, but - I don't really have the space to do that. I would need to clean first, and I don't want to clean... so I have been pushing this in front of me for a week now...

I also am falling back to my nasty eating habits. I got an irresistible craving, and gave in... it's funny how easy it is to think "it's only this time, it's only for now, it's only for today, tomorrow I'll be good..."
Tomorrow never comes, as we all know... it's always today. So next time I'm going to push the craving till tomorrow. I may eat anything I like tomorrow. I promise. >:->

So - I found the kilo I lost. Not fun.
I feel disappointed, slightly surprised (for what, I don't know, because this is not magic, but pure science and logic - I know exactly what I did wrong. I didn't keep my food plan, and I didn't exercise. It really is as easy as that. :-D)
I feel sad, disheartened, I'm angry with myself who sabotages my efforts to lose weight and to at least once in my life feel what skinny feels like, so I could say if Kate Moss is right or not. And I also want to know by my own experience if skinny and fit is going to make me feel beautiful, which is what the thinspo people are saying.

So - it has not been a good week.

But, my sister called. She had had a dream about me, where I had lost weight and had a body exactly like Kelly Osbourne's... I wish :-D

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