Thursday, September 12, 2013

Lists, lists, lists...

Things I want to do. Things I think I should do to live and not just exist and wait to die. Things I know I could learn to do. Things I know I could do. Things I am interested in, things I'm passionate about, things I'm talented at, things I know I would be phenomenally good at doing...

Things I want to do, one day...
Anything you can do, I can do better...
Where and what do I want to be when 2013 arrives?
The first 101 things list
50 things before 50 (I'm 44 now)
1000 places to see before you die

The thing is, though... I never DO anything. Except write lists and dream...

But then there's this:

So... that's all I need to do to make my dreams come true.

I know I already have everything I need to make things happen.
Well... there will be quite a lot of money involved, I mean, no-one is going to GIVE me a motorcycle and teach me to drive it for free. But I have everything I need to earn some money so that I can save it, and pay for the bike and driver's license. I just need to DO the things I need to do to earn the money :-D And then I just need to save it and not use it for something else, that happens to be really interesting and necessary at the moment, but that I haven't been wishing for for decades.

I am scared. It's horrifying to take the first step. I mean... I have been writing these lists for years, now, and I KNOW what I need to do to make it happen. Setting a date is no problem.
For example 24-form tai chi.

I started learning these forms in August. I thought learning one form every day takes 24 days, and that sounds ok. I'd know it by September, and could go on doing it every morning, to be able and confident enough to go to Södertälje city square and do this every morning at nine.
I got to step 3, and couldn't quite figure out how to do that. I knew that I would need to see it done, and I knew I could see it done in YouTube, but... for some reason I never did that.
Now, I started a new "101 things in 1001 days" challenge on Monday. And I thought that if I now learn the rest of the forms, starting today, one form a day, I'll be done till October.
Good idea.
Er... I haven't done anything about it.
And that was four days ago. *blush*

I really suck at committing.

(Something positive and encouraging. I know the three first steps now. I knew what the lady was doing and what would come next and I have understood it correctly, and I do it about the same way. Probably not, because I assume she has been doing that for years, and does it perfectly, and I have been doing it for three days, and I'm pretty sure I don't do it even close to perfectly. Nevertheless, I know that I can learn this on my own, and then get my husband watch me and correct me, and then get someone who knows Tai Chi watch me and correct me, and I will be confident to say I know.)

Anyway... *sigh*

I think I need to cut the list down to even smaller numbers. Have some sort of "10 things in 100 days" or "1 thing in 10 days". That I think even I could commit to. :-D

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