Lists, lists, lists... part god-only-knows and no-one-cares

IMDb top 250 movies as voted by users...

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Godfather (1972)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo. (1966)
The Dark Knight (2008)
12 Angry Men (1957)
Schindler's List (1993) - I have started watching this for 2-3 times, but never seen the whole movie.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Fight Club (1999) - I have started watching this... and it's... sick. Too weird for me.
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
Inception (2010)
Goodfellas (1990)
Star Wars (1977)
Shichinin no samurai (1954) (Seven Samurais)
Forrest Gump (1994)
The Matrix (1999)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Cidade de Deus (2002) (City of God)
Se7en (1995)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
C'era una volta il West (1968) (Once Upon A Time In West)
Casablanca (1942)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Rear Window (1954)
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Psycho (1960)
Léon (1994)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
American History X (1998)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Memento (2000)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
City Lights (1931)
Alien (1979)
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) (Spirited Away)
Modern Times (1936)
North by Northwest (1959)
Citizen Kane (1941)
Back to the Future (1985)
The Shining (1980)
The Pianist (2002)
La vita è bella (1997)
Django Unchained (2012)
The Departed (2006) - OMG... I have started watching this, and it is... painful.
M (1931)
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Vertigo (1958)
Paths of Glory (1957)
American Beauty (1999)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Aliens (1986)
Double Indemnity (1944)
WALL•E (2008)
Toy Story 3 (2010)
Das Leben der Anderen (2006)
Intouchables (2011)
The Green Mile (1999) - I have seen bits of this, and I don't think I want to...
Gladiator (2000)
The Great Dictator (1940)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
The Prestige (2006)
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - Suck. I have seen bits of this too. Boring!
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Das Boot (1981)
Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (1988)
The Lion King (1994)
The Third Man (1949)
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Braveheart (1995)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Oldeuboi (2003) (Old Boy)
Chinatown (1974)
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Ladri di biciclette (1948) (Bicycle Thieves)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Metropolis (1927)
Amadeus (1984)
Rashômon (1950)
Mononoke-hime (1997)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
All About Eve (1950)
The Sting (1973)
Unforgiven (1992)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
The Apartment (1960)
Raging Bull (1980)
Hotaru no haka (1988) (Grave of the fireflies)
Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Die Hard (1988)
Batman Begins (2005)
Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (2011) (A Separation)
Yôjinbô (1961)
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Snatch. (2000)
Per qualche dollaro in più (1965) (For a Few Dollars More)
The Great Escape (1963)
Der Untergang (2004)
El laberinto del fauno (2006)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Up (2009)
Toy Story (1995)
On the Waterfront (1954)
The Elephant Man (1980)
Det sjunde inseglet (1957)
The General (1926)
Heat (1995)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Blade Runner (1982)
The Kid (1921)
Rebecca (1940)
Scarface (1983)
Smultronstället (1957)
Gran Torino (2008)
Fargo (1996)
Ran (1985)
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Touch of Evil (1958)
Ikiru (1952) (To Live)
The Deer Hunter (1978)
The Gold Rush (1925)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
It Happened One Night (1934)
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Sin City (2005)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Casino (1995)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Platoon (1986)
Jaws (1975)
The Thing (1982)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Trainspotting (1996)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
High Noon (1952)
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
The Avengers (2012)
Warrior (2011)
El secreto de sus ojos (2009) (The Secret In Their Eyes)
Gone with the Wind (1939)
Annie Hall (1977)
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Tonari no Totoro (1988) 
Notorious (1946)
V for Vendetta (2005)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Into the Wild (2007)
Dial M for Murder (1954)
Life of Brian (1979)
How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
The King's Speech (2010)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
The Terminator (1984)
The Big Sleep (1946)
Network (1976)
Ben-Hur (1959)
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Stand by Me (1986)
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
Groundhog Day (1993)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
Les quatre cents coups (1959) (The 400 Blows)
Mary and Max (2009)
Amores perros (2000)
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Persona (1966)
Hauru no ugoku shiro (2004) (Howl's Moving Castle)
Black Swan (2010)
Gandhi (1982)
The Killing (1956)
The Graduate (1967)
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
The Princess Bride (1987)
8½ (1963)
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
The Hustler (1961)
La strada (1954)
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Rocky (1976)
Life of Pi (2012)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Rope (1948)
The Exorcist (1973)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Stalag 17 (1953)
Barry Lyndon (1975)
In the Name of the Father (1993)
Mou gaan dou (2002) (Internal Affairs)
Sleuth (1972)
Stalker (1979)
Roman Holiday (1953)
The Artist (2011/I)
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
The Truman Show (1998)
Salinui chueok (2003) (Memories of Murder)
Per un pugno di dollari (1964) (A Fistful of Dollars)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
Star Trek (2009)
District 9 (2009)
Yip Man (2008)
Ratatouille (2007)
Jurassic Park (1993)
Le scaphandre et le papillon (2007) (The Diving Bell And The Butterfly)
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
La haine (1995)
Shutter Island (2010)
3 Idiots (2009)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Incendies (2010)
Rain Man (1988)
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Kaze no tani no Naushika (1984) (Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind)
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Taare Zameen Par (2007) (Like Stars On Earth)
Harvey (1950)
Mystic River (2003)
Papillon (1973)
Manhattan (1979)
Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom (2003) (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring)
The Untouchables (1987)
Festen (1998)
Trois couleurs: Rouge (1994)
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
La dolce vita (1960)
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

I wonder about the demographics of the voters... I'd say most are male about 15-35.
They should have put an age limit to the voters and eligible movies.

Edited: Movies I have seen after writing this blog entry are italicized.

Dang. I thought Deliverance (1972) was part of this list, so I watched it, and... it's not very good.
but it fits the list.
and the beginning made me think it might be a good idea to go canoing down a river...

Thousands of things to do...

Yesterday I took my ordinary 5K walk through the forest, and at 1K I was met by two runners... a man and a woman. Beautiful people.
And I was overflowed with hatred and anger and envy.

Then I started pitying myself. I will never have anyone to run with.

Then I remembered

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford 

and tried to believe...

But I really cannot even imagine anyone wanting to ever run with me. I just keep thinking about that guy I have mentioned a couple of times... and I was thinking about the fertility doctor, who was talking about the possibility to have a child with totally different talents and aspirations, for example, the child could be athletic. And I remembered myself as a child and almost burst out laughing.

Yes, I am in a really bad shape, fat and tired and sick, so it might not be easy for others to see me as a sporting type, but... I can't understand why people never saw me as someone to do things with. I have always been someone people tell stories about all the things they have done.

The idea of being in a good enough shape to actually be able to keep up with someone else, that is a little more achievable dream. I have been in good enough shape to run 3200 at Cooper's test. When I was 14. I have done that. So I know I can do that.
Sure, I'm over 40, and it will take more work, but I have all the time in the world.

I don't want to be alone. I see the future being a long, long stretch of loneliness, needing to do things myself, not having anyone to help me, not even having anyone to ask for help.
These things they very effectively taught me in school.

My mother said she has always admired my ability to do things. What ever I wanted to do, I found out how, and did it. Or made it.
I don't think she has ever realized that I did it, because it was the only way for me to ever get what I wanted, or do what I wanted.

Like... I remember visiting the library once with my best friend, we were 10-11, I think, and there was this lady from 4H society trying to find out if there was any interest for 4H group in the little country place I lived as a child. I was very interested.
Nothing happened, and I thought that perhaps there were not enough interested people, so they had decided to scrap the project.
Some time later I heard that the lady had asked my best friend if we were still interested in it, and she said "no". And the lady accepted her answer.
I had given her my telephone number and name, why didn't she call me and ask ME about whether I was interested or not?

This is practically the story with everything. People just assume I'm not interested.
And I didn't know I should call around, seek out the people and talk with them, take the initiative, keep pushing...
Oh, except now. For the first time in my life I kept pushing, seeking for contact, trying to get a satisfactory outcome, and in stead of answering, I was told they think I'm a stalker.

Oh, I hate him right now so much.

The Omnivore's 100

"The blog Very Good Taste has come up with a list of 100 items that every omnivore should try in his or her life. And has turned it into a meme.
Basically, you copy the list from Very Good Taste's The Omnivore's 100 and post it to your blog, bolding the items you've tried and striking through any you would never try."

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Phở
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Époisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal (Phall, Phal, Paal)
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie (might be a little difficult now...)
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I do find it rather difficult to even think of tasting eel, lobster and frog legs, but... it's supposed to be like any meat.

70 months before I'm 50

I have a lot of lists. I have a lot of dreams, and some of them are BIG. I mean *B*I*G*. So big I'm not even going to talk about them. You'll be hearing about those in the news.

But there is a lot I need to do before I get to a place where I can do anything about these dreams. There's a lot of things to do I can do now.
So I decided to do three things today:
1) write a list of all the things you plan to do
2) write a plan, any kind of plan, with at least 10 things I can do, now, with what I have, right now.
3) start doing those things, one every day, chewing the list down, from the beginning to the end, and when I'm in the end, I'll start from beginning again.