Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Emotionally abusive relationship

“When someone is unrelentingly critical of you, always finds fault, can never be pleased, and blames you for everything that goes wrong, it is the insidious nature and cumulative effects of the abuse that do the damage. Over time, this type of abuse eats away at your self-confidence and sense of self-worth, undermining any good feelings you have about yourself and about your accomplishments.” 
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engle

Oh, dear... That's a good description of my relationship... with me.
Now, I won't be able to walk away from that relationship.

So - I started looking into how to deal with that, and was lead to another road...

I have been reading Gloria Steinem's book about self-esteem.

I hate to say this, because I know my parents loved me, and did their best, and all that, but I was neglected as a child. 

How do you heal yourself from being emotionally neglected as a child?

P.S: I feel I have been subjected to "gaslighting".

"The abuser who does this will deny that certain events happened or occur to get you to question or insanity. They will exaggerate or lie to make themselves look good and you look like the bad guy. They avoid taking responsibility for their own actions."

Not an ounce of remorse, compassion, understanding. No apologies, no validation, no explanation. Nothing.
Except that it was all my fault, they did nothing wrong, and their suffering - caused by me - is equal to mine - which also was caused by me.


  1. As another green eyed red head who has fought her weight (I no longer fight!) and suffered from a very poor self image, I finally came to understand that I am here for a reason, and it is not to be valued by the world. Your beauty and loveliness really do come from the inside. It has taken me 50 years to figure that one out, but now I've got it!

  2. Thank you for commenting :-)
    I'm always so pleased :-)
    And thank you for the encouraging words :-) Makes me feel I'm on the right way :-)