Saturday, February 18, 2012

Oh, yeah...

Thursday was a bad day. Nothing compared to Friday. Stupid me told him and asked for help, and he dropped me like a hot potato and run. He even left the informing part to someone else.

So now it has been proven, eagles are just glorified chicken. Just like swans are glorified geese.

And because he left it to someone else to tell me, now there's more people who knows than necessary. I really thought he could help me. Well... he did. Nothing to clear a girl's head of illusion of a crush, nothing to cure temporary insanity, as to find out the object of your crush is a coward, stupid, selfish and cruel.

Yes, cruel... You remember me telling I have Aspergers? You remember me telling about the BDD? Now, there's more to this story which makes it even more cruel and monstrous, which I'm not going to tell anyone, but believe me...

And whom am I going to talk about this?
I bet he won't read my mails or take my calls, I wouldn't be surprised to find that he has changed his email address and phone number too :-D No-one else is involved.
I can't be talking with my family, because... well... having a crush on a guy not my husband makes me an adulterer in my mind.
I talked with my husband. He doesn't consider me an adulteress, because I did nothing. I told him that I have a crush on him and I don't want to have it, because I needed him as what he was, and I love my husband and want to stay happily married to him... well... two out of three ain't bad, huh?

I have been crying so my face is swollen, no dark batches under eyes...

it seems to me that I need to turn this into my Scarlet Letter

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