Long, red hair...

Ok, so I wasn't born with a red hair. My hair is sort of caramel colored, or almost pure gray in certain light... but also... when the henna grows out, there is a clear, red shade in my hair still... I find it interesting.
Nevertheless, with henna and other dyes in the world, no-one needs to be born with red hair to be born to be a red-head... ;-) I wouldn't want red hair, if I wasn't supposed to have red hair :-D

30 things you can do to make your hair grow faster

1) cut the split ends - about half a centimeter ever second month should do the trick

2) hot oil massage - warm up a small cup of oil and rub it in your hair. Massage the oil in your scalp in gentle, circular motions. Put a warm towel to your hair and let it stand for at least half an hour. Wash your hair and let it air-dry

“Indian women are known for beautiful hair,” says Purohit. “Hair oil massages are a big thing. Once a week, we apply coconut, olive or almond oil to hair, massage it in for five minutes, leave on for 10, then shampoo.”

- Hair repair recipe

2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

Mix ingredients in a small bowl until they are well combined.
Apply the mixture on dry, unwashed hair, starting at your roots, and combing through your hair to distribute evenly.
Clip your hair up and wait 30-60 minutes.
Wash your hair.

- Egg Yolk Mask

2 egg yolks
2 tbsp olive oil
1 cup water

slowly and thoroughly massage this into your scalp and hair, let the mask stand for 15-20 minutes and rinse off.

- Vinegar hair rinse

1 part vinegar
2 parts water

Vinegar helps hair restore its optimal pH value, it seals the cuticles making each strand shinier, stronger and less prone to breakage and it removes product buildups that literally suffocate the scalp and slow down normal hair growth.

- rosemary hair water

2 tsp dry rosemary
3 dl water

massage into your hair and scalp starting from the ends. Let dry.

- banana hair mask

mash a ripe, soft banana, massage it into your scalp and hair, cover with a plastic bag, wrap a hot towel over it and let it stand.

- egg white hair mask

whisk together the whites of 3 eggs. Massage the meringue into your hair and let it sit 5-10 minutes. Rinse out with cold water, then wash your hair.

- Onion hair rinse

Boil a couple of onions in water and use it as hair rinse.

- potato hair mask

juice 3 potatoes
add 1 egg yolk
add 1 tbsp honey

rub into your hair, let stand 15 minutes, rinse away

3) drink water, eat proteins and vitamins B, A and C (especially biotin)

4) avoid blow drying

5) brush your hair twice a day, when it's dry

6) Stay away silicone based hair products and wax.

7) No conditioner in the scalp

8) Let the conditioner work about 10 minutes in heat, like in a steamroom or wrap your head in hot towel.

9) Avoid washing your hair

10) Avoid all hair styling products

11) Protect your hair against sun by using hats and scarves

12) Oil your hair before going in the pool

13) Use silk pillow cases or a silk scarf to protect your hair when you're sleeping

14) massage your scalp about 10 minutes

Oh, yeah...

Thursday was a bad day. Nothing compared to Friday. Stupid me told him and asked for help, and he dropped me like a hot potato and run. He even left the informing part to someone else.

So now it has been proven, eagles are just glorified chicken. Just like swans are glorified geese.

And because he left it to someone else to tell me, now there's more people who knows than necessary. I really thought he could help me. Well... he did. Nothing to clear a girl's head of illusion of a crush, nothing to cure temporary insanity, as to find out the object of your crush is a coward, stupid, selfish and cruel.

Yes, cruel... You remember me telling I have Aspergers? You remember me telling about the BDD? Now, there's more to this story which makes it even more cruel and monstrous, which I'm not going to tell anyone, but believe me...

And whom am I going to talk about this?
I bet he won't read my mails or take my calls, I wouldn't be surprised to find that he has changed his email address and phone number too :-D No-one else is involved.
I can't be talking with my family, because... well... having a crush on a guy not my husband makes me an adulterer in my mind.
I talked with my husband. He doesn't consider me an adulteress, because I did nothing. I told him that I have a crush on him and I don't want to have it, because I needed him as what he was, and I love my husband and want to stay happily married to him... well... two out of three ain't bad, huh?

I have been crying so my face is swollen, no dark batches under eyes...

Well...

it seems to me that I need to turn this into my Scarlet Letter

Not a good day

Today I feel very... inadequate. I'm too fat, and not fat in a nice way. I'm not pretty, I'm not nice, I'm not mature and wise and motherly and feminine and lovely. Today I feel like a dumb brat, fat and... Not ugly, precisely, but... not dazzlingly beautiful either.

I hate this emotional dance I'm having.

I'm married to guy #1. He's wonderful, I love him, he makes me smile, he turns me into a soft, warm puddle of sweet love... I'm happy being married to him, I'm proud of him, I'm not going to leave him, ever.
But - I'm in love with guy #2 - and he doesn't seem to see me as a woman. He shouldn't either, because he's sort of married too, and seems to be quite ok with that and his commonlaw wife, and that's perfect, fine, as it should be, and all that.
But... I WANT him to find me absolutely adorable, beautiful, irresistible, sexy, lovely, feminine, delightful, amazing... and I'm pretty sure he doesn't.
I wouldn't. I think I'm big and clumsy and ugly and childish and too much in wrong places, and too little in the right ones. Timid and boorish, and boisterous and full of myself at the same time. Ugh.

There was a woman in the "office" today, and he greeted her and sounded sincerely happy to see her... I don't think he sounds like that when he talks with me. And it hurts.
I want him to miss me when I'm gone, and I don't see that happening.
I want him to think of me when it snows, and I don't see that happening.
What I see happening is that within a year he has forgotten my name, and he doesn't even think of me... nothing will ever remind him of me, I will vanish in the history as "Who? Oh... No, can't remember. It wasn't Daisy, was it? No... What ever." Just another user.
Nothing in me is especially unforgettable.

Oukkidoukki

Now I have made four things I've pinned: Bear Paw cookies, Stained glass cookies and Sweetheart sugar cookies; for Imbolc tomorrow. I also needed to make hard sugar candy for stained glass cookies, because we didn't have any. I burned the first batch, and my finger, but the second turned out fine. I'll decorate the cookies tomorrow, so no photos yet. :-) (And tomorrow I'll also add the sanding sugar to the list :-))