Sunday, August 14, 2011

I'm rather desperate right now...

After the holiday in Finland I weighed 3 kilos more than before. I tried to watch what I'm eating, but... everyone kept saying "it's holiday, you can watch your weight when you get home". The food was very good, and there were all the things I like to eat... I love Finnish pastries. I love Finnish yoghurt and ice cream. I love to bake, especially to an appreciative audience, so there was a lot of that too. We had a Western theme party, so I baked a couple of pies for dessert... there was blueberry pie, cherry pie, lemon meringue pie, pecan pie, custard pie, apple pie... I think that's it. But every pie was really good, and then there was a little of vanilla custard and ice cream to go with the pies. Before that there was some really good chili and barbecue, and... *sigh*
So, I ate, and ate, and ate. I didn't work as much as I usually do in Finland, so I gained weight.

No I'm home, and I'd need to work it out. I weigh 107 kilos. I don't want to eat anything ever again. I don't want to get heavier and heavier. But I know I will eat. If I don't, there will be people around me, telling me "the body goes to starving mode, which means you won't lose weight, and if you ever eat anything, it goes straight to fat reserves!!" I don't want that!

I have tried low carb diets, and even though they work, sort of, I'm not feeling well when I'm in it. I feel awful.
It was good to not eat sugar, white flour or added fat, but... I WEIGH OVER 100 KILOS, ALMOST 110! I'M JUST GETTING FATTER AND FATTER ALL THE TIME!
I felt good when I was eating nothing the whole week and what ever I wanted on one day too.

I don't want to be this heavy.

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