Anything you can do, I can do better...

I enjoy reading Regretsy. I have explained that elsewhere, but as an artist and artisan, I don't find it "wonderful" when people try to push crap as "art" or "handmade item".
Even though it is so that "if you can't call it anything else, it's art" - which definition I gave art at artisan school, I have plenty of names for most of the things at Regretsy, and none of them is art...

Now, there is this semifamous person, whose best friend is dating a more famous person, and this person likes to do things... she has a couple of shops at Etsy, where she sells... well... not too badly made art and crafts. It's not GOOD, don't get me wrong, but it's not bad either. Now, that I can do better any day, blindfolded and one arm tied behind my back, but to me that would be no challenge either...

So - could I do anything she does better? ANYTHING she does?

Okay... she is a "glamour model". (A really silly name for page 3 girls). Her BMI is 18.5 and she is physically fit.
I am not. I am so far from being a glamour model anyone can be; I'm not even the shape fat pin-ups have.

You know - either pear or hourglass. I'm the classic top-heavy mother-in-law or controlling wife from the 50's cartoons. I'm more of a shape of a very fat carrot... I have wide shoulders and chest, and my hips are more V than A or O...

 Here's what I have to work with...

I'm no glamour model :-D

So - I need to get my weight down from the 103 it is now to 53 kilos. That's loosing half of me...
Then I need to get fit. I assume both of these are reached at the same time ;-)

I will not become a glamour model even to prove "anything you can do, I can do better", but I would love to do this...

"a woman who not only shoots incredibly photographs, but makes incredible costumes, as well as does incredible hair and makeup..." "...Enter Viona, who is herself some strange, mystical, unearthly being.  She is modelesque, with an incredible face, and poses in many of her own photos.  It also appears that every one of her friends is also modelesque, were born seamstresses, and all do great hair and makeup.  To add to the bizarre soup of it all, they're all German, who speak perfect English, and travel the world taking surreal pictures.  They have the ability to attach horns to their head, wear fur and look stunning, obtain and successfully sport colored contacts, and apply gallons of liquid eyeliner with no flaw nor shakey hand whatsoever."

Yep. That's what I am going to shoot at. Having a body that WOULD be good for "glamour" photos, but not do it... or do it a bit differently. Like this girl, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this or this, or this... oh, so beautiful :-) 

Also, the "almost famous person" calls herself a sing-a-songwriter and guru, says she likes to desgin, and has video tutorials on all kinds of things; make-up, food and DIY stuff. She isn't very good at cooking or singing, but make-up she knows how to apply. So that I really need to learn.
Michelle Phan is my idol :-) She is so cute and pretty and funny and skilled... she makes it look so easy :-)

So - loose weight, get fit, learn to apply make-up, make my hair, sew corsets, take photos, write songs and learn to sing better, and then make a series of foody videos for YouTube in the style of Nigella Lawson, Annabel Longbein, Rachael Ray and Jamie Oliver :-D In this company "naked chef" might mean something slightly different than what Jamie meant :-D

But - at least I know that if I WANT to do it, I'm MEANT to do it :-)