Sunday, August 15, 2010

Everyone is more or less autistic?

I read this and found it very interesting.

I have "very clearly" Asperger's and "very clearly not" ADD or ADHD.

Information, data, knowledge, has always been the top priority to me. My biggest problem in ANY area of life is whether I am understood/misunderstood by others, and whether I understand what others say. I am a compulsive-obsessive hoarder when it comes to trivial information - I collect books, papers, lists, even single words, like a magpie. I would rescue my information sources before my clothes, photos, jewelry, handbag...

I have never been a rebel. I don't protest against authorities, I respect old age, I am good at obeying. I think I would have been a good soldier. I truly believe people in authority position are there because they deserve it :-D
Not so to my husband, who believes people in authority positions are automatically powerhungry control freaks who enjoy bullying and manipulating others, and tell others to do things just because they can. He has ADHD ;-)
So, for me it's 3-?-?-4, without a doubt.

So what about 1 and 2?

I have some OC features. I cannot pass a messy shelf in a store. I have to organize it. I always sort my color pencils, money, books, dishes, laundry... We have a system, my husband and I - he does the laundry and I sort it in the closet and drawers.

But comfort and sensory privacy are very important to me as well. I need to be alone, I need to be untouched, especially if I'm emotionally upset. I cannot stand being hugged when I'm sad, I want to cringe when someone pats me on my back or head and holding hands is weird, even when it's someone I like, like my husband. I am extremely focused on that all the time when we are holding hands. I am also very sensual, enjoy the sensory input, but only as long as it is on my terms. When I am emotionally upset, all the sensory input becomes overwhelming, even painful. One of the first signs of me being in a bad place is that I try to shelter my eyes from light. I would rather sit in a dark closet, or preferably, in a weightless bubble, because the weight of my own bodyparts, the mere body, is too overwhelming to me. I like the floatation tanks.

I think comfort comes before neatness for me... because my home is a mess. I hate taking care of my personal hygiene. I only take care of it so that the people in my environment wouldn't be unnecessarily bothered by it. I don't personally feel uncomfortable being dirty and wearing dirty, raggety clothes. Id rather be naked, though, because my own skin isn't itchy, scratchy and not too small or in a way, like clothes can be :-D
Also, I don't depend on the "correct tool" to be able to do things. If I cannot find the right color pencil, I use another. I have no problems in drawing on paper with lines, or writing across the lines.

My favorite place is the library and museums.
My second favorite place is the bed :-D Entertainment and pleasure are high on my list, so being able to sit in comfortable clothes, enjoying good food and a good book - or surfing the internet - or watching television, preferably a good film or interesting documentary :-D - comfortably, on a good chair, sofa or bed, is a very nice idea.
I would not give up my pleasure for organizing and cleaning, but I'd rather do that than run from home, head to new adventures, be a rolling stone and follow my hat to new homes, never looking back...

So - 3-1-2-4

Me and hubby... he's not that clear with the other 3, but 4 is always #1 :-D

You are in a well-equipped kitchen ready to make food. What do you think is important?

1) that the food you make will be good
2) that the kitchen and equipment is clean
3) that you know the recipe and the chemistry of the food
4) that you may choose freely what to make and how

What is a well-equipped kitchen, apart from good tools?

1) open, easy, warm and soft
2) clean, tidy, efficient
3) cook books
4) full fridge and cupboard

You are heading toward a book shelf to find something to read. What will you pick?

1) something entertaining, funny, lovely, a good story; probably a children's book, romance, funny stories or a comic book.
2) good book that is in good condition. Proabably a contemporary novel or world classic.
3) something you'll learn something new from, perhaps a fact book, but fiction is ok too, probably a historical or spiritual novel or a biography.
4) what ever you feel like, probably action; thriller, detective novel, scifi or fantasy, perhaps horror.

You need to sleep. Which bed will you choose?

1) a bed with soft, comfortable bed linen, nothing itchy and scratchy
2) a clean bed, set exactly as I need/want/like it
3) a bed with a good mattress, ergonomical and healthy, providing the scientific conditions for good night sleep.
4) which ever I choose

You need a pair of shoes. Which will you choose?

1) the comfortable ones with enough room for toes and which don't shafe.
2) the neat ones that are easy to keep clean
3) the best shoes for the purpose
4) shoes that look good. Shoes I want.

You are invited to sit in the living room. Where will you go and sit?

1) the nice, soft and cosy arm chair or sofa, perhaps a bean bag or rug
2) the chair or sofa which is easy to access and you can get up easily from, probably not a soft one
3) The one best suited for your purposes. The most ergonomical one. Perhaps one close to the book shelf, or close to someone you might learn something from.
4) The chair where nothing is behind you, and which you can get to and leave freely

What are the keywords for these 4 groups:
1) comfort, beautiful, easy, nice, soft, warm, gentle, tender, cozy
2) well organized, neat, clean, undamaged, tidy, well kept, pure, perfect, order, pristine, as it should be
3) clever, ingenious, ergonomical, ecological, scientific, purposeful, reason, relevant
4) with lots of choices, non-traditional, unusual, as they choose, wish, prefer, being in charge, it shouldn't take much time, it may not be a burden, may not tie one down in any way, no rules, obligations, force

What happens when we are in a "bad place"?

First, I want to flee, free myself from any obligation, rules, force.
Second, I start throwing things around, spread mess and chaos, I break things and kick furniture and so on... Or I start compulsively cleaning.
Third, I try to comfort myself - go to a place with as little sensory stimulation as possible. If nothing else is possible I freeze, refuse to listen, speak, communicate, I turn inwards. I don't want to be touched.
Four - I am able to discuss the matter to understand what just happened.

He needs to understand what is happening... this comes always first. Then he needs comfort.

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