Celebrity weight loss

I was watching "40 most slimmed down celebrities" at VH1

I'm really p'd off with Tyra Banks right now. She "fights back" and gets the country's support and THEN looses the weight, and by doing so she's telling everyone her critiques were right and everyone else, herself included, was wrong, and she IS fat in the cover of People.

My tips for weight loss:

1) eat breakfast
2) don't eat anything after 8 P.M.
3) eat when you are hungry, what you want to eat and stop eating when you are not hungry anymore. (Not after you are so full you can't eat anymore.) It usually is enough with one bite of candy, doughnut or something, and you won't be depriving yourself what you like, but not letting the food decide for you either.
It might take some practice to actually KNOW what you want to eat. Sit down and THINK about eating what ever it is you want to eat. Is it what you want to eat?
4) find some ways to reward yourself that don't involve food; take a bath, read a good book, take a walk in park, buy yourself a magazine, a piece of jewelry, or what ever rocks your boat.
5) drink a lot of water. Have a water bottle by you all the time, and keep it full of good water. Not juice, drink, soda or such, but water. Perhaps add a twist of lemon, if you like that, but don't add sugar.
6) don't use light products and artificial sweeteners and such. Use proper butter, cream and sugar, when you do, and EAT LESS. Artificial sweeteners and light products cheat you to eat more and cause health problems we haven't researched enough.
7) don't count calories. If you want to count, eat only as much as your cupped hands can hold, and then stop. You can even get a bowl the size of your cupped hands, so that when visiting someone, you can fill the bowl and then stop eating. Everything you eat at one sitting, even if it was a 12 course dinner, count, so if you want some dessert, you need to save some place in the bowl for that ;-)
8) keep your blood sugar in steady level. It's better for you to eat a little all day long, than eat a lot once a day. (If you are used to not listen to your body, eat one handful every 3-4th hour, and the last meal 8.P.M. That gives you 4-6 meals a day.)
9) eat fresh fruit, vegetables and nuts as snacks. A bowl of mixed nuts and a bowl of mixed fruits in pieces fully replace the bowls of candy and chips in your mind, and it won't hurt you like sugar and salt do.
10) walk when you can (so that you can walk when you need to). Don't take the elevator, take the stairs; don't take the car to the grocery store, get a bike or walk (now, of course, within limits. If you have more than a mile to the store, you may consider alternatives, but a mile is nothing.) Get off the buss a stop before yours and walk home. Walk to the next buss stop when you are to take the buss somewhere. If you miss a buss and must wait, walk to the next buss stop in stead. Take a short walk at your coffee breaks and lunch breaks.
11) Keep a bag of nuts and a bottle of water with you all the time.
12) make a list of your favorite foods, the stuff you don't want to be without, what you would eat as your last supper - you know, whether it is pizza, lasagne or sandwiches, and promise yourself you will eat that once in a week, but only once a week. NOT EVERY DAY.
13) have a day in a week you may eat ANYTHING. What ever you want, feel like, and as much as you want/can/desire.
14) throw out all sugar and white wheat flour and everything alike; candy, baked goods, cookies, cakes, potato chips, snacks, sugar coated anything, etc - and get rid of all light products, slimming products and sweeteners and cream replacements, and all artificial stuff, "just add water", mixes and ready-made stuff. Don't keep anything like this in your cupboard, fridge or freezer. You won't eat something you don't have.
15) learn to cook. Have a cooking day when you make food and fill your freezer for those days you don't feel like cooking.
16) find out which vegetables/fruits you like and which you don't, and fill your cupboards with the ones you like. Have a bowl of good salad (no salad dressing) in your fridge all the time, and use it. When ever you take a sandwich or a piece of meat or something like that, take also some salad.
17) find out which sports you like and start exercising. There is something for everyone, even if it's Tai Chi or shooting. (Yes, shooting is a sport. You can even count things like shopping and cleaning ;-))
Ask your friends to exercise with you. Call a friend to keep you company, if there's no-one around, or use music or audio books.

Everyone is more or less autistic?

I read this and found it very interesting.

I have "very clearly" Asperger's and "very clearly not" ADD or ADHD.

Information, data, knowledge, has always been the top priority to me. My biggest problem in ANY area of life is whether I am understood/misunderstood by others, and whether I understand what others say. I am a compulsive-obsessive hoarder when it comes to trivial information - I collect books, papers, lists, even single words, like a magpie. I would rescue my information sources before my clothes, photos, jewelry, handbag...

I have never been a rebel. I don't protest against authorities, I respect old age, I am good at obeying. I think I would have been a good soldier. I truly believe people in authority position are there because they deserve it :-D
Not so to my husband, who believes people in authority positions are automatically powerhungry control freaks who enjoy bullying and manipulating others, and tell others to do things just because they can. He has ADHD ;-)
So, for me it's 3-?-?-4, without a doubt.

So what about 1 and 2?

I have some OC features. I cannot pass a messy shelf in a store. I have to organize it. I always sort my color pencils, money, books, dishes, laundry... We have a system, my husband and I - he does the laundry and I sort it in the closet and drawers.

But comfort and sensory privacy are very important to me as well. I need to be alone, I need to be untouched, especially if I'm emotionally upset. I cannot stand being hugged when I'm sad, I want to cringe when someone pats me on my back or head and holding hands is weird, even when it's someone I like, like my husband. I am extremely focused on that all the time when we are holding hands. I am also very sensual, enjoy the sensory input, but only as long as it is on my terms. When I am emotionally upset, all the sensory input becomes overwhelming, even painful. One of the first signs of me being in a bad place is that I try to shelter my eyes from light. I would rather sit in a dark closet, or preferably, in a weightless bubble, because the weight of my own bodyparts, the mere body, is too overwhelming to me. I like the floatation tanks.

I think comfort comes before neatness for me... because my home is a mess. I hate taking care of my personal hygiene. I only take care of it so that the people in my environment wouldn't be unnecessarily bothered by it. I don't personally feel uncomfortable being dirty and wearing dirty, raggety clothes. Id rather be naked, though, because my own skin isn't itchy, scratchy and not too small or in a way, like clothes can be :-D
Also, I don't depend on the "correct tool" to be able to do things. If I cannot find the right color pencil, I use another. I have no problems in drawing on paper with lines, or writing across the lines.

My favorite place is the library and museums.
My second favorite place is the bed :-D Entertainment and pleasure are high on my list, so being able to sit in comfortable clothes, enjoying good food and a good book - or surfing the internet - or watching television, preferably a good film or interesting documentary :-D - comfortably, on a good chair, sofa or bed, is a very nice idea.
I would not give up my pleasure for organizing and cleaning, but I'd rather do that than run from home, head to new adventures, be a rolling stone and follow my hat to new homes, never looking back...

So - 3-1-2-4

Me and hubby... he's not that clear with the other 3, but 4 is always #1 :-D

You are in a well-equipped kitchen ready to make food. What do you think is important?

1) that the food you make will be good
2) that the kitchen and equipment is clean
3) that you know the recipe and the chemistry of the food
4) that you may choose freely what to make and how

What is a well-equipped kitchen, apart from good tools?

1) open, easy, warm and soft
2) clean, tidy, efficient
3) cook books
4) full fridge and cupboard

You are heading toward a book shelf to find something to read. What will you pick?

1) something entertaining, funny, lovely, a good story; probably a children's book, romance, funny stories or a comic book.
2) good book that is in good condition. Proabably a contemporary novel or world classic.
3) something you'll learn something new from, perhaps a fact book, but fiction is ok too, probably a historical or spiritual novel or a biography.
4) what ever you feel like, probably action; thriller, detective novel, scifi or fantasy, perhaps horror.

You need to sleep. Which bed will you choose?

1) a bed with soft, comfortable bed linen, nothing itchy and scratchy
2) a clean bed, set exactly as I need/want/like it
3) a bed with a good mattress, ergonomical and healthy, providing the scientific conditions for good night sleep.
4) which ever I choose

You need a pair of shoes. Which will you choose?

1) the comfortable ones with enough room for toes and which don't shafe.
2) the neat ones that are easy to keep clean
3) the best shoes for the purpose
4) shoes that look good. Shoes I want.

You are invited to sit in the living room. Where will you go and sit?

1) the nice, soft and cosy arm chair or sofa, perhaps a bean bag or rug
2) the chair or sofa which is easy to access and you can get up easily from, probably not a soft one
3) The one best suited for your purposes. The most ergonomical one. Perhaps one close to the book shelf, or close to someone you might learn something from.
4) The chair where nothing is behind you, and which you can get to and leave freely

What are the keywords for these 4 groups:
1) comfort, beautiful, easy, nice, soft, warm, gentle, tender, cozy
2) well organized, neat, clean, undamaged, tidy, well kept, pure, perfect, order, pristine, as it should be
3) clever, ingenious, ergonomical, ecological, scientific, purposeful, reason, relevant
4) with lots of choices, non-traditional, unusual, as they choose, wish, prefer, being in charge, it shouldn't take much time, it may not be a burden, may not tie one down in any way, no rules, obligations, force

What happens when we are in a "bad place"?



First, I want to flee, free myself from any obligation, rules, force.
Second, I start throwing things around, spread mess and chaos, I break things and kick furniture and so on... Or I start compulsively cleaning.
Third, I try to comfort myself - go to a place with as little sensory stimulation as possible. If nothing else is possible I freeze, refuse to listen, speak, communicate, I turn inwards. I don't want to be touched.
Four - I am able to discuss the matter to understand what just happened.

He needs to understand what is happening... this comes always first. Then he needs comfort.

So... almost a year later

Of course it all came tumbling down. :-(

I ate a lot during the Yuletide and through the Spring and Summer... now it's Autumn, and I weigh about 100 kilos.

I re-read my blog entries and I am interested in trying again. Situation has changed a little from October.

1) my benefits were tried in May/June, and I got 18 months more time. The "allowance" is halved, though, so I don't have much money. This 18 months - or 15 now - are to be used to rehabilitation, to get me back to the work life. I am still in constant pain and have no diagnose on that... I have had my sleep apnea tested, but the results are pending... for about a month more. I have no faith in my doctor, and tomorrow I'm going to call to another, and hopefully will get a time in a month or so. I really want to get this checked and be sure of what's wrong with me and what can be done to it. My hands hurt, again, like hell, and I don't know how much more I will be writing. It doesn't make the pain worse, and my hands will hurt anyway, but... I will be feeling too sorry for myself.

2) I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I assume I will be getting some help because of that. It IS sort of autism, a handicap one is born with, so I will be counted as disabled person. I don't know how that will change things, but I know it will...

So - back to eating "nothing" - just tea, water, a spoonful of yogurt when I'm hungry, a mouthful of juice when I feel the sugar graving, and the vitamins, minerals and fish oil :-)

I really want to remove the obesity factor when it comes to my health and pain.

Mysterious adventurer

Elizabeth McGovern as dame Celia Westholme

in Agatha Christie; Appointment with death

I know he loves to travel. I know he loves the fells.
I know he finds intelligence and curiosity attractive.
I know he likes to read, about people. He likes people.
I know he appreciates arts and culture.

And I know that guys who are into sports also like women with big boobs. So I'm well off there.

Sags should be attracted to clean, nicely dressed and fit women.
And they should be attracted to active women, testosterone junkies, mysterious adventurers...

The thing is that *I* would be absolutely perfect... If I was what *I* want to be, I'd be his dream woman...

Isn't it interesting how fate likes it?

First goal reached!

This morning I weighed exactly 100.0 kilos!

I am still not hungry, but the gravings come and go. I have noticed that if I eat a good breakfast and drink water properly (a lot, that is), there isn't as much gravings.
On the other hand, I am going to bake today - Danish dark rye, Challah and Karelian pastries (pirogies).
Danish rye recipe is Camilla Plum's Old School rye - the recipe is in Danish - with Jan Hedh's sourdough from the book "Bröd" (Bread).
Challah recipe is from the Complete International Jewish Cookbook by Evelyn Rose.
Karelian rice pierogis are an old national recipe I learned in school. This is ok, but I use all rye. (wheat is for whimps ;-)). The name may vary from Karelian pierogis to Karelian rice pastries to Karelian rye-crusted pastries to even Karelian pies. (the word "piirakka" in Finnish is used of all these sorts of baked goods. Sometimes "pasteija" is used of the finer sort of pastries/pierogis.)
I also know I am going to taste everything I bake. Not good for the diet, better for the feelings.

It has been horrible to stand out with the feelings of being left without and outside, not having, being poor and lonely. Food, especially delicacies, is a cheap way of feeling rich. When I was a kid, we didn't have money to buy candy and "white bread", and the food was rationed - as we were 6 kids growing up, and there wasn't much money - I have been eating to fill the hole, to secure I will never be hungry again and I will never be without anything good. My table is to overflow of cream and wheat, candy and baked goods, meat and butter.
So now as I am not eating, the overflowing table is just a nuisance, a temptation... but the feelings of being without are still there.

But it's Friday and I may eat what ever I wish. I am going to make myself some pasta with minced meat sauce, just the way my mother did it, and eat it with rye bread, I am going to eat the pastries, I am going to eat some potato chips and a little wine gums :-) Or not exactly LOL I am going to eat one tiny bowl of pasta, half of a slice of rye bread, one Karelian pastry and a tiny bowl of chips (50g) and perhaps 2 or 3 wine gums. I don't want to slip back to my old ways.

One thing I have noticed, is that when I don't eat much, what I eat tastes 10 times more. I have noticed that I don't miss salt, but I have developed a taste for sour things. I have also noticed, that I get satisfied with very little - 2 cookies is enough. I don't need to eat the whole package of cookies. I don't need to eat 2-4 person's portions, 2, 3 forkfulls is enough. I'm sure that if I continue with this, I will get my relation with food in order, and live happily ever after, not overweight.

Week 2, Day 2

I am very depressed.
I am still not hungry, I have lost 4 something kilos in 9 days. I am sort of getting rid of the addiction, but... *sigh* Now I'm in the place where you really don't want to get rid of it, because it fills a space in your life, and now that space is empty, and I don't know what to fill it with.
("Pray and meditate", says my hubby. Blah, says I.)

First week is over

It's sunday afternoon, and I have been eating very little the whole week. I have eaten a little yogurt and drank a little juice every day, the rest has been mostly water and a couple of cups of tea.

On Friday evening I allowed myself to eat a little cabbage stew with rye bread - I ate like three forkfulls and two bites of the sandwich, and gave the rest to the dog. I just didn't want to eat more. I also allowed myself 50g of potato chips and 5 cookies, of which I ate the chips and 2 cookies, and it felt too much. I felt like I had eaten a good dinner, that I wasn't refusing myself the goodness of food.

Then on Saturday I was surfing the Bread Baking Babes and Daring Bakers, encountered apple strudel, wanted to make that. (Not eat.) That lead me to pulling noodles in my hands. Unfortunately, one of the videos showing noodle pulling, also showed some Chinese pork pasties, that look exactly like Tatar Peremech pastries, and THOSE are... those are DIVINE!!! I could eat tons of those, and I couldn't make those and not eat all I can.
So I went to the kitchen and tried to make noodles, but I think my dough is too stiff. I threw it away and now I'm going to kitchen to make another batch, with more water this time. :-)

I feel ok, I'm not hungry, I don't have gravings so hard I can't handle them. I want this and that, but it's ok not to have it.

I weighed 106 kilos when I started, now I weigh 102.7